Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I’ve been dating a great guy and things are getting a little to serious. How do I tell him that I want a more Godly relationship?

The second part of this question is easier than the first. You must simply talk to him about your feelings and thoughts. Make sure your motives are pure. Don’t go into the conversation in a prideful way and tell him what he has to do, but you should be caringly firm with your words. Express your desire to build your relationship on a solid foundation, and that foundation being the life and power of Jesus in your relationship. Tell him you want to pray together, read your Bible together, and talk about God and what God is doing in your lives together. Also, express to him the seriousness of how you feel about this. If he is a Godly man who cares for you he will respond positively to these requests. If he is angered and says he doesn’t agree with you then you will have a hard decision to make as to whether or not to continue in that relationship. However, I would add that if a boyfriend doesn’t want to help you walk with God, then he will not be a husband who wants to walk with God in your relationship. Read Ephesians 5:22-33 and ask your self if the guy you are dating will be the husband found in those verses. If he is not, then you should part ways with him.
Now the first part of this question is a little difficult. When most teens tell me that their relationships are “to serious,” it usually means there are beginning to be signs of struggling physically. They are beginning to see themselves stepping on a path that will lead them farther than they wanted to go physically with a boy or girl. I don’t know if that is the case here, but for those reading this and that is the case then I want to say something that I know you will not like, but I must say it. If you are struggling physically you will need to take a break in the relationship of at least 90 days. You won’t see each other, talk to each other, or contact each other in any way for that period. This seems to be the only way to get over the attachment that physical intimacy causes between a boy and a girl. This will be the hardest thing you will have done up to this point in your life, but it is necessary if you want to have a relationship built on a Godly foundation. After this time you can see each other again but only in the company of others. You should not be alone again until you both stand before God and the world and say “I do” and you are married.
Also, when relationships are “to serious” it sometimes means that the girl/boy feels like he/she is falling in love at a young age with a girl/boy. This is also cause for concern because the odds are against you that this relationship will last beyond high school. Both guys and girls must “guard their hearts” in relationships and not allow themselves to be to close to a boyfriend or girlfriend until it is time; and that time is engagement and marriage, and no sooner.

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